Kaiba and Joey's Super Special Awesome Adventure
by Kenichi Farfello
Summary: Kaiba and Joey discover new sides to themselves and form a relationship. This is total crack. I blame cookies...
1. Chapter 1

Well hello there, kind readers. It is author of randomness, Kenichi Farfello! Thank you for clicking on this fic. Ima let everyone know ahead of time: this is loosely based off the abridged series of Yu-Gi-Oh. Please don't flame if you, like my friend Yami, can't stand the abridged series or people who like to joke about stuff like this. My best buddy Katelyne helped me write this, she wrote for Supreme Ruler of Smexy Dragons-Seto Kaiba. But please feel free to click the review button at the bottom of the screen and type something…anything…please…(I know, slightly pathetic, but at least I'm honest about my patheticness. And I just made a new word! Hellz yea!)

Joey calmly walked up to Seto Kaiba, teenage millionaire in the high school building."Hey Seto! What'cha up to?"

Seto glared at Joey. "What do you want loser? I don't like to talk to people who don't have money."

"That's not cool, Neh. All my money goes to meh sista in da hospital. You remember Serena right?" He replied, forgetting that his sister's name is Serenity.

Seto's eye twitched. "No I don't fucking remember. What's wrong with you? Do you have a speech impediment or something?" He asked smirking.

"Nah, I'm from Brooklyn. Everybody in New York tawk's like dis." He answered dumbly.

"I will duel you into submission if you don't stop talking like that Wheeler." He threatened.

"Ooh! The big bad rich boy wants a duel! Let's do it!" Joey said, way more excited than he should be.

"Alright Wheeler, if I win you have to dress up in a dog costume like the little furry you are and be my servant for the day." He smirked thinking perverted things.

Joey gasped. 'How'd he know that I'm a furry at heart?' he thought. "Alright! I accept!" He agreed.

"Can somebody say Duke Sandwich?" Duke said, appearing out of nowhere.

Seto gasped. "Where did this very handsome man come from? And how is there music playing?" he asked looking around.

"Um…I think that's just Duke's powa…he makes theme music play wheneva he entas a room." Joey explained.

"Fuck off Duke. I'm about to kick ass and play cards…and I'm all out of cards." He said looking Joey up and down.

'Whoa…is Seto checkin me out?' he thought. "Well then don't challenge me to a duel if you can't come off it."

"Oh Ill come alright." Seto smirked, yet again. "Don't you worry about my cards Ill get them alright…Ill get them. For a child billionaire such as myself nothing is impossible."

"But that's against tha rules…"He tried.

"Screw the rulez I just bought bamboo on E-Bay." He countered back.

"Wow! Do you have a panda?" Joey asked. He only remembered that pandas eat bamboo and nothing else about the plant and was completely distracted.

"No you dumb-shit it's so I can stick it in your-"he cleared his throat. "It's so I can beat you into submission."

"Oh really? I'd like ta see ya try." He replied.

Seto reached into his pocket and pulled out a long stick of bamboo. "Don't tempt me Wheeler." He walked up to him, their faces inches away then smirked.

Joey gulped. He was actually starting to get hard just looking at the bamboo and thinking about what Seto could do with it.

"Yeah that's right Wheeler." He stepped away, done with teasing him at for the moment. "So are we doing this or not?" he asked bored.

"Hows about we do this afta school? At your house?"

Seto smirked AGAIN. "We since my brother's been kidnapped for the millionth time I have the mansion to myself so yea sure why not. Oh and don't bring any of your poor friends." He said then walked away.

`````````,,,,,,,,,,,

So Joey waited after school like the loyal puppy he is/

"Hey Joey, what are you doing? Are you going to come over to Grandpa's shop with me?" Yugi asked skipping up to the tall blonde.

"Nah, Ima go ova to Seto's place and duel 'em." He replied.

"…Okaaaay?" the shrimp responded, and then he ran away to Yami, his much older and mature boyfriend.

Seto sighed as he walked through the hall but smirked (again!) thinking of what he would do to Joey.

"I should've just kidnapped him…Being a child billionaire as myself kidnapping someone and blackmailing them is perfectly legal if I pay enough" He turned the corner and saw Joey.

'yea that's right. Wait like the little bitch you are.' He thought then walked over to him.

He grabbed him by the back of his shirt and began to dragging him.

"Let's get this over with, Wheeler, I have a hyperactive brother to save…whom I will now keep on a leash."

When they got to Seto's mansion they walked up to the super special awesome dueling arena.

Seto walked up to his stand then slammed down three cards. "I summon all of my Blues Eyes!" he said then crossed his arms, waiting for Joey's move.

Joey threw down his Red Eyes Black Dragon and within ten minutes, had lost. 'Dammit! Now I gots ta dress up like a dog and be Seto's servant all day.' He thought, putting his cards away.

"OK, Seto, what'dya wants me to do first? " Joey asked.

Kaiba smirked seductively," First off" he reached into his pocket and pulled out a collar

He fastened the collar then pulled on it, dragging him away. He walked in to a library then sat down." Clean the room. Make sure you get the lower areas, you furry." He ordered while thinking 'yes, I get to watch you bend over.'

Joey looked around the room, his secret OCD kicking in. He went over to the first shelf and straightened the books on the top shelf, reaching way up so that his body stretched and his shirt rose up.

Then he did all the ones on the normal rows. Finally he got down on his knees and elbows with his butt high in the air and wiggling as he picked up the books and put them back in alphabetical order by author.

He repeated this process until he was done and then he came back to stand in front of Kaiba.

"Um…I'm done…" He said, unsure.

Seto twiddled his fingers, happy with the little show.

"Very good Wheeler, now come. I need to stroke my ego some more" He grabbed the collar and dragged him to a room.

On the bed was a very provocative maid outfit.

"Instead of a dog costume, wear that" he ordered sitting down. "Go ahead and change" he smirked.

Joey sighed and began to strip, putting no thought into the fluid way he moved, like a dancer almost.

Blushing fiercely, he put on the maid outfit. The frilled skirt came to just below his butt and the top was very cute with tons of little shiny buttons and frills, although it was really tight and showed most of his chest.

Joey probably wouldn't admit it to any of his friends, but he really liked dressing like this. Skirts tended to show off his slender legs. And the way the outfit was made, it tied around him to show off how skinny he really was.

Seto gasped. 'OMG I'm hard. And it's not because someone summoned a God card' he thought then fixed his position so Joey couldn't see his problem.

He then got an idea and smirked.

"Alright now…I want you to give me a blow job." He ordered.

The blonde dropped down to his knees and unbuckled Seto's pants. His hands shook slightly.

'I've never done this before…I hope Seto won't notice…'Joey thought.

He rubbed Seto's arousal against his cheek and kissed the tip of it before he took the head into his mouth, sucking lightly.

Seto closed his eyes in ecstasy. 'This is better than a god card…but still…' Slyther's image appeared in his head.

'There we go' he thought, then came from the image.

He pulled Joey's face away.

"Alright now strip." He ordered.

Joey whimpered as his face was splattered with Seto's cum.

He shakily got up and removed the costume. Then Joey stood naked in front of Kaiba.

"Oh yeah baby…"Kaiba said standing up. He pushed Joey down on the bed then crawled on top of him.

"Prepare yourself Wheeler. Incoming!" He said and then he thrusted into him and began moving.

Joey's eyes got wide at the sudden intrusion. Then he started moaning as Seto began to thrust harder.

"Mmm…Seto!" he screamed as a spot within him was struck.

He came with a loud cry of "Neh!"

Kaiba increased his thrusts until he finally came. "Bombs away!" he yelled out.

He pulled out then collapsed beside him, panting.

"I think I love you…but since you're not a god card I must continue to push you away with my cruel indifference."

Joey lay there panting and barely heard Seto's words. "I might love yous too Seto. Can I be your personal Slave?" he asked.

"Our love will never be, Wheeler. You're not a god card…" Seto said, turning away.

"If you want to be with me, you need to know…I have a dragon fetish…and a god card fetish…and a children's card game fetish…and a being richer than you fetish. I like tying people up and whips too."

"Wow! We have so much in common! I have a dragon fetish too! And a children's card game fetish…I like being tied up and whipped too." Joey said.

"I'll dress up like a gad card if it'll make you love me!"

"Fuck yeah it would." Kaiba said, sitting up. "Maybe this will work out after all."


	2. Chapter 2

*A couple weeks later*

Joey was now staying at Seto's mansion. They had sex every day, usually either involving a Slyther the SkyDragon or bondage. The blonde was content and sated, but saddened that Seto would never love him for himself.

He was at school now and laid his head down on his desk. He didn't even talk to his old friends anymore because Seto was his life. Joey got excused from class and went into the bathroom, intending to cry out of frustration.

Meanwhile Seto was in the library on E-bay looking up different costumes for Joey to wear. He came across Obelisk the Tormentor and jizzed in his pants.

"The Dark Magician Girl will do." He said, then he bought it. The billionaire gathered his things and left the library.

As he was walking down the hall he saw Joey and noticed that he looked sad.

'Joey's about to cry…He usually only cries when we have sex. I'm going to completely ignore that fact that he cries during sex and focus on who he's cheating on me with.' Seto thought.

Kaiba walked into the bathroom. "Why are you crying?" he asked.

"Its nuthin'…" Joey said, wiping at his eyes. "The doctors say I just have too much estrogen in meh. So nows I got some woman stuff in my body. Ya prolly think Ima wacko now don't 'cha?" He said, now even more depressed.

"yeah, that is pretty weird…yet strangely erotic." He said licking his lips."I can help you with tampons and all that…"he smirked.

"How did you know I have a period? Neva' mind, but actually, I haven't had meh period in ova a week. I'm late. Do…Do ya think I could be pregnant?" Joey asked.

It made him happy that Seto accepted all this so willingly though.

'If you are, we're naming then baby Obelisk.' He thought.

He wasn't really listening to Joey and what he was talking about anymore. He was thinking about god cards, and dueling.

"Oh wait, were you saying something Wheeler?" he asked.

"Yeah, I was saying that I mights be pregnant and you're the dad." Joey said plainly.

'If I am, Seto'll prolly wanna name that baby Obelisk or somethin' like that…' he thought

"Oh right" Seto said calmly. "I better be the fucking dad or I'll have the whole school murdered." He said completely serious.

"But since you're not, I'll leave the school alone."

"Whatdya mean by that?" Joey asked, a little angry that Seto thought he was sleeping around.

"Do I need to spell it out for you? I'm rich enough to do that." He walked up to him and kissed him.

"You're my property. Foreva." He stated.

"No I'm not." Joey said pushing him away as he walked out of the bathroom.

'I don't think I can be with Seto if he's gonna be that possessive…even if it is turning meh on…' the blonde thought, walking back to class slowly.

"What a dumb twat." Seto said then he stormed out of the bathroom pursing his lips.

"He's going to be punished for that later. Perhaps I should brand him with my Kaiba Corp Logo."

'Maybe I should move back into my crappy one room apartment…nah. I'll just move to a different room in Seto's mansion…' Joey decided

Inside, Joey knew he was being weak, but he couldn't help it.

"Maybe I should just talk to 'em again…Yea!"He decided, startling a janitor with his sudden outburst.

Seto waited outside the school when it let out. When he saw Joey, he walked over and hoisted him over his shoulder.

"Let's go, Wheeler. My little brother's kidnapper is getting fed up with him, so he's giving him back tomorrow." He began walking.

"I have an outfit for you at the house."

When they got to Seto's house, Seto set Joey down and pulled out the outfit. " Put it on…bitch."

Joey sighed and put the outfit on.

Then he sat in front of Seto blushing.

"Why do you always make me wear girls' clothes? It's embarrassing" he stated.

"Because shut up" Seto replied.

"Since you're pregger, I'll take it easy on you but that doesn't mean on sex." He smirked.

He sat down on the bed. "Wha. Wha. Kaiba wants some milk. Somebody fetch me a nipple." He said looking at Joey expectantly.

'Hm…maybe I should lay off the drugs.' He thought.

Joey hesitantly pulled off the top of his outfit.

He went over and sat next to Seto, just wearing a skirt with his nipples hard. He blushed.

"Hellz yeah" He said, then he wrapped his arms around Joey's waist and pulled him closer to press their lips together, while massaging Joey's 'raisins'.

"Mmngh…" the blonde boy moaned into the kiss.

He thrust his narrow chest towards Seto. 'It feels good, but I prolly shouldn't encourage this…' he thought.

After a long night of intercourse, Kaiba let Joey sleep in the bed.

'I haven't played a children's card game in forever…' he thought sighing. 'And my hyper-active little brother is still missing…I should probably do something about that.'

He walked out onto the balcony then sighed again.

'Sometimes I wonder why our parents never wanted us…and how we came into so much money. But then I remember I'm rich so I don't care. Mokuba, I'll find you one day…When I feel like it. And I'll even get you that pet scorpion you always wanted.'

He smiled then walked back into the house and into the room where Joey was.

'Maybe I should tell him I have AIDs (Oh Noes!)…it seems like something he would want to know.'

He sighed, laying back, and closed him eyes.

Joey woke up with the sun in his eyes and immediately rolled away from the light.

He saw Seto sleeping peacefully and kissed him softly on the lips.

Since he didn't have any guy clothes besides his uniform at the mansion, he just put on one of the maid outfits Seto had given him.

Then he began cleaning Seto's room since he was dressed for it and the child billionaire didn't like to let other people into his room.

Seto awoke to the sound of Joey cleaning and sat up.

"Hey um…I'm HIV positive. He said moving to the edge.

Joey looked over to him and his jaw dropped.

"You're just tellin' me now? That's kinda important stuffs to know. Y'know, especially since I'm pregnant!" He yelled as he squirted some spray cleaner on the rich teenager.

Then he hit his lover several times before he began crying from his overactive emotions.

"Geez…you don't have to be so HIV negative…" he said wiping the cleaner off.

"Don't worry you'll be fine. AIDs isn't that bad."

"You're killing meh babey!" Joey shouted, tackling Seto onto the bed so he could beat him some more.

"HIV isn't AIDS bitchmuffin, but I better not be positive for it…"he growled.

"Okay, Okay. Excuse me for trying to keep some optimism. If you want to be all HIV negative, that's fine.

He pried Joey off of him. "And if you aren't positive for that, you'll be positive for other things." He laughed.

"You fucking slut! I'm taking yo babey and raisin' it away from its ho-daddy!" Joey screeched as he got off Seto and slammed the door behind him as he left. 'Maybe it's not too late to get some meds for this so I don't have to have his diseases…' The blonde thought as he left the mansion.

"…!" He yelled then got up and ran after Joey. He caught him by the arm just in time. "Wait, don't go. I'm sorry. I'm just scared…" he snapped his fingers and a band came up and began playing sad music.

"I was raped…it was before I had all the money. That's why I have all the STDs."

"That doesn't change that ya didn't tell meh ya had 'em. Wear a condom for godsake! Now I have ta go get tested by Dr. Barney the Purple Dinosaur down at the clinic." He said.

"No!" Seto stomped his foot. "Barney scares me! I don't wanna go! I don't wanna!" Seto whined.

"The nurses down there are really nice though. They'd prolly give ya a sucka or sumthin' if ya went with me. I'll protect ya from tha Doc. He doesn't scare me." Joey said.

Seto sighed, then scooped Joey up in his arms. "Baby gets what Baby wants." He said, walking forward. "Let's go get you and ma babay checked." They arrived at the doctor's office and he set Joey down. (yes, he carried him all the way there lol)

"Don't worry, Joey, I'll protect your ass from that purple dinosaur doctor."

Barney saw them, both at the same time and tested them.

"Well, Mr. Wheeler, did you know that you're a girl?" the dinosaur asked.

"um…I'm not a gurl…I've got a dick…"

"Oh yea…you're absolutely right. Well, you're pregnant and you don't have any STDs. But mr. Kaiba has syphiolis. We can treat it though…With lots of HUGS!" He said, trying to give Seto a creepy pedo-rape hug. Joey held him off though.

"Don't touch him like that! I'm the only one who gets to touch this sexy mofo! I am his bitch! He is ma disco stick- respect it! Yo!"

"Got that, you pathetic excuse for children's amusement? I could so beat you in a children's card game." Seto said. He grabbed Joey's hand and walked out with him back to the secretary's desk. She prescribed them both drugs, Joey just in case. Then they left.

"Well…I don't have AIDs. Which sucks, I was kinda stoked to have AIDs…"he sighed.

When they got back, Joey sat on one of the couches in the thousands of living rooms he had. "What are we going to name it? I was thinking of naming it after one of the cards from the children's card games that no children actually play and we adults get too obsessed with."

"Can we call it somthin' with 'Ran' in it? Like Ranko or Ranmaru?" Joey asked.

He'd always thought that those were pretty names. Of course the blonde meant that they would have the character for 'orchid' in their Japanese names even if the kids weren't fully Japanese. Seto would probably think he meant 'ran' like 'riot' or 'rebellion' though.

Seto sighed "Well…since I didn't tell you about my STDs unitl after I impregnated you, I guess I owe you one. Sure. I like Ranmaru." 'It sound manly…like a champion children's card game player…' He thought, even as he spoke.


End file.
